Apples to Oranges to chicken nuggets

It's hard to miss the constant debate over who's job is harder or who sacrifices more, the stay at home mom or the mom working outside the home or like me the part timers who do a little of both. I have finally decided to weigh in. And my verdict is, there is nothing to debate! You can't even compare. It's like comparing, apples to oranges to chicken nuggets. I have worked full time outside the home when the kids were little. The stress was crazy including the guilt of not being with the kids more. I never had laundry, dishes, or grocery shopping done because I wanted to spend more time with the kids. Then I stayed home full time . I was stressed with messy kids, laundry that never stopped and I was constantly cleaning up kitchen messes. The stress was different, not worse or less just different. Now I work outside the home part time and stay home with the kids the other half of the time. Again I am stressed. This time my stressors are scheduling related and dealing with juggling all three kids with errands. Again the house is destroyed ( I have a babysitter comes into to the home) and I still can't get the grocery shopping done. I have many great skills but putting cleaning before fun stuff has never been a priority for me. But it seems my skills or lack of them are still the same whether I work in or out of the home. The challenge with parenting in all situations is juggling your workload to make a balance between family time and responsibilities. I still have not managed to do this and I might never gain this skill. But I do know for sure that my kids will be fine and they aren't lacking for love! The one piece of advice I can give to any current or future parent is this: Take a course in Project management. Learn to plan, prioritize, budget and organize a calendar. Parenting is a full time project with an organizational structure that is constantly changing.

Easy and cheap valentine crafts!

I needed a craft for my sons first grade class. I also needed it to be cheap and enough for 23 kids. So I went over to the dollar store to see what I could find. I discovered that I LOVE foam! I found a pack of 32 4x6 foam squares. Perfect for home made magnet frames. Then I spent $3 dollars on 200 count of self adhesive heart themed foam stickers, 140 count of foam bug stickers and a pack of pipe cleaners. I had a ton of magnet photo's ( the kind you get with ads on them that are super thin ad easy to cut up).
To make the frame I folded rectangle in half and cut a half heart. Then I stuck on some valentine stickers. I cut the pipe cleaner in fourths and curled it. I punched it through foam frame near the top of the heart to make bug antenna's, and folder them over in the back to keep secure. Then I wrote "my love bug" at the top and added bug foam sticker. I stuck a piece of magnet on the back and taper a picture behind it. And ta-da cheap, easy, valentine craft. The kids can take them home and put their own picture in it!  I had enough supplies for 32 kids for $4 and I didn't have to use glue... Whoo hoo!

painted canvas crafts!

So let's be honest, this christmas was a tight one! I made a quite a few gifts, including some painted canvas. The zebra stripe was one of my favorite and was so easy. Just take masking tape and rip it into strips and place on the canvas. Then paint over with the color of choice. Peel off to see your zebra effect. I made this one pink and black for my niece's room. To get the black stripes paint the canvas black first and let dry, then apply stripes and paint your non-stripe color again!

Stretch canvas is pretty cheap. I got it on sale for 2- 8x10's for $4.00. I decided I wanted to paint a butterfly for my Stepmom. After picking my colors for the wings, body and background I got started. First I found a photo of a butterfly on the web to be my inspiration. For the background painted a dark brown. Then I lightly went over it with black and cream to give it texture. I did in a sweeping fashion so that I could see the strokes.  Then I blended it all with the dark brown again. Kind of like blending your eye makeup. Next I did an outline of the butterfly. Once I had the shape I wanted I painted the wing is with arching strokes using light blue, dark blue, black and cream. I really just kept layering it until I liked it. Lastly I used black for the butterfly's body. I tried to use stroke that made the curves of the body. And Voila I painted a butterfly. It was my first real attempt at a painting and I was pretty please.

An easy way to paint canvas without having having to really paint is using Painters tape. I made these wall pieces by taping off lines on the canvas and them painting the spaces in between. I made this one for my living room. But if you found out which colors your recipent uses in their house you could make them some great home decor!!

delayed potty training: Part 1 1/2

Last August I posted about getting ready to potty train! Well I tried and had an epic fail! My daughter got sick at the end of day one, so we had to postpone, 4 months later I still haven't attempted another try. I feel so overwhelmed with the idea of juggling her potty training needs with the other chaos in our life. Well now she is about to be three and some of the activities she wants to be in require her to be potty trained. So now is the time! I am amping myself up, getting mentally prepared. We have started talking about it again and she seems eager although her recent behavior with authority tells me I might need to work on my ability stay calm. So again stay tuned for the potty log and read our daily potty training antics and hopefully success!

cries for help! The child needs an exorcist!

 My daughter is about to be three and she knows it. My quirky, sweet angel turned into the devil over night. She fights with her sister non-stop, she hits or scratches her when she gets mad. Right now we use time out, but she screams the whole time and when she is done she goes and repeats the same crime she was just punished for. She screams over toys, food, anything she wants but doesn't get. When she hears NO, she thinks that means keep asking very loudly. It sounds like an angry growl...PLEEEEAAASSEE! If I knew any good priest I'd consider an exorcism. But the truth is, it's my fault, I have slacked off big time. I am at a loss as what other discipline techniques to use. It's been three years since I've had a three year old. What is a mom to do?  In times like this when my parental confidence is shot and I don't move forward in fear of making it worse, I turn to my moms group. I am so lucky to have this group. I went right to that message board and poured my heart out about my possessed child (cleverly written with a little humor to hide my insecurities about sharing my failed parenting techniques), that I love dearly but want to strangle most days. My husband wonders why I ask the opinions of others when I am the best expert on my own child. But the truth is I am not looking for a quick fixes, I need a ego boost. My fellow moms give great suggestions and example of their own techniques. I often use these techniques and try something new. But the best thing I get from my moms group is the feeling that I am not the only one! It's good to know 12 other moms have screaming demon children too! I also love the encouraging words. It's amazing how reading a few words written by someone else can totally change your whole attitude and give you the confidence to get back in the ring and tackle those stubborn preschooler attitudes.

 If anyone needs a support group it's the stay-at-home mom, but all moms could use a group to be a part of. These groups are so easy to find. I found mine on Meetup.com. But many groups can be found at local churches where they have MOP's ( moms of preschoolers) or MMO's (Moms morning out). The groups are what you make of it. Some groups are based on meeting regularly once a week where childcare is provided, then the moms get together to visit and do activities, or listen to speakers. Others include hosting events or play dates. Some of the events are just for the moms, where some include playtime for the kids. Most have a location where moms can post messages and connect with other moms online. My cry for help on my mom group message board was a way for me to connect and feel less lost when I needed it most. Parenting is hard, no doubt about it, but my moms group has helped me feel part of something special and when I feel confident in my parenting my kids get better mom and the idea of resorting to exorcism are less frequent!

Back to school parties!

Let's get this party started!

There are many milestones in our children's lives that we mark with celebration. And there is no better time to celebrate than when your child is taking their first steps into education. Whether you're a stay-at-home mom who's child has been home for the last five years or a mom who works outside the home with a child in daycare, going to school or starting a homeschooling program is going to be a big change in your child's daily life. What better way to get them excited for this new adventure than to have a party centered around starting school.
The parties my kids have attended and enjoyed the most have always had a equal amount of games, crafts and free play. I like to have 1 or 2 crafts and a game to keep the interest of all types of kids, Then let the kids loose from all the structure and have some free play. Whatever activities you plan, make sure to have some extra crafts or games planned in case the kids finish quickly or a craft doesn't work out. Once you have an idea of what you want your party will consist of, it's time to start planning your activities.
There are lots of activities you can do that include school as a theme, anything with apples, books, letters, numbers, pencils, and crayons, will remind you of school. But if you want to make sure your party is Kindergarten themed you'll want to include activities that are specific to your child's and their friends big change. My daughter was going to kindergarten but many of her friends were starting their first year of homeschooling, so I wanted to make sure everyone felt included. I tried to stay away from school bus themes or pictures of classrooms. Keeping your guests in mind will help make your party special. Our party activities included, a book mark craft, a book bag beaded keychain craft, frosting cookies in the shape of their name, ABC order game, book walk and school supply memory game. It may seems like a lot of activites for a room full of 5 and 6 year olds but you'll be amazed at how fast it goes.

 Crafts

Crafts are my daughter's favorite activity at a party and they also give you a cool favor to bring home. For our kindergarten send-off party we had a Bookmark Craft. Using card stock for the bookmark we punched a hole in the top and supplied yarn for each child to add a tassel. We placed the blank cards and precut yarn in a plastic bag for each child and then provided stickers, markers, glitter, and magazine pictures for the kids to decorate their book mark. When they are done you can use masking tape for a laminated effect.

The next craft was a beaded keychain using plastic beads and plastic thread. This is perfect for hanging on the zippers of book bags. These were also measured and tied to the key ring ahead of time and placed in a plastic bag with an assortment of beads. The more prep done ahead of time the smoother your party will go. After the keychains are finished we had the kids hold the keychain tight and think good thoughts of mom or dad or anything that makes them happy. So later if they are going to school outside of the home they can use the keychain as a reminder of home if they get nervous on that first day.

ABC cookies

After the crafts we had a cookie snack made out of ABC cookies spelling our guest names. Baking the cookies the night before and bagging them up for each child made passing out the cookies a quick process.The kids will have fun putting the letters in the right order to spell their name. Place a few bowls of frosting around the table with plastic knives, add a few bottles of sprinkles and let the decorating begin.

 

Let the games begin

During the cookie decorating and snacking we did our first game. I call it School Supply Memory. I placed 4-5 school supply items on a cookie sheet. We used scissors, glue, a pencil, piece of paper, and a crayon. Then walked the tray around the snacking kids and told them to try and remember the items. I waited a minute or two and then brought the tray back with one item missing. We did this few times and the kids did so well I had to add a few more items to make it trickier.
I also wanted a game that would make the kids work together so I came up with the ABC order game. We used a large abc puzzle and passed out a few letters for each child. As a group the kids had to put the ABC's together in order by lining then up in on the ground outside.The best part was when the kids got stuck they all started singing the ABC song together. This can also be done with letter magnets on a cookie sheet for a smaller scaled version.
Ever heard of a cake walk? A book walk is the same thing, only instead of cake our guest take home a book! This works best if everyone brings one or two books from home to donate. This way everyone gets a book that's new to them. To play place letters or numbers on the ground in a circle. Make sure there is enough for each child to stand on one. Ask the kids to walk in a circle while you play music. Stop the music every so often and call out a number or letter on the ground. The child standing on that letter gets a book. Don't forget to ask them to take their letter with them to exchange for a book.
When the organized activities are complete, you might find that the kids need to have some free play. We had enough time left to walk down to the park. But if you don't have a park nearby or the weather doesn't permit you to go outside, letting the kids go to a playroom or bedroom to talk or have some pretend play will allow the kids to use some of that energy they may have been containing during the party. Plus it will give you a moment to clean up a little.

What I learned this time!

Prepping paid off! I was so glad we prepped all the crafts the night before. The morning of the party we put all the craft bags in a brown bag with their names on it. This served as a great place to keep all their finished crafts, unfinished cookies from snack and books from the bookwalk. It also helped to keep track of each child's goodies and made cleanup between each activity go smoother. I also learned that I need to have a backup craft. The kids breezed through the crafts so fast we had almost an hour of free play, which was a little more than I planned for. I also noticed that during the book walk a few kids were getting anxious about winning, next time I will be sure explain that everyone will win a book. Also calling two letters out at a time will speed the game up a little bit if you need it. After the party I asked my daughter what she thought, and she told me she had blast and that she was ready to go to school...tomorrow! She was dissappointed to find out she still a few weeks to go. So maybe planning closer to the begining of school might be better for you. Overall the Kindergarten Send-off party was a success and we created great memories with our friends to mark the big day

Potty training a terrible two year old - Part I

Flushed with anticipation

After potty training two kids in two different ways I am finally getting ready to potty train my last baby. While the little angel is the apple of my eye, she has just hit her terrible two's. My instinct is to prolong the potty training during this rowdy, defiant time, but the desire to be diaper free is over powering. So how do I start this transition to diaper freedom? PLANNING! I spend about a month trying to determine which methods of potty training will best fit my child. Each one of my kids were different with a range of personalities traits different from the other. While one might be eager to please and earn rewards, the other would strive for independence and less hands-ons techniques. I discovered the that the best way to choose a potty training method is to listen to your child. I am no expert on kids but I have gathered the information I used to potty train my first two and hope this will help me potty train my 3rd. Lets get down and dirty!

Training myself

When it comes to potty training I always felt it was less about teaching my kids and more about training myself. Training myself not to by annoyed that my daughter just peeed on the couch and being ready for messes. I want to be mentally prepared for frustration without my daughter knowing how frustrated I am. I also I need to figure out what questions I needed answered before we can start. My first questioned was, what is my daughter capable of doing in the bathroom? Did my child have control of going potty yet? For example when I sit my daughter on the potty she can go poop and pee no problem. This tells me she can control it but I haven't encouraged her to focus that control. If control isn't there yet it doesn't mean she's not ready. If the control wasn't there I'd spend more days teaching her how to feel it during the training process by encouraging more very frequent bathroom breaks and filling her up on liquids. The more chances they get to feel it the more opportunity my kids had to get control. I decided where she is at physically and I have prepared myself for frustration, now I need to determine which method I will use.

Singing chairs, pulls up, cloth undies and more

There are many potty training methods out there that you can buy books on and read about. I am not here to tell you how to potty train your child exactly. This is how I sifted through all the information out there to come up with a plan to fit my child, and hopefully this process will help you determine what will work for your child. After looking at all the methods and using my past experience with my first two, I decide to use padded cloth underwear and rubber pants. I have found that cloth underwear helped my kids feel when they are wet and dirty. YES there will be messes, lots of them. Plan ahead and have lots of clothes ready. My daily routine includes leaving the house almost everyday. So even when I potty train we have to have a plan for leaving the house. On the first and second day those rubber under pants were a life saver with my first two. The rubber pants are great for the car and if they have an accident they will still feel it but there is less damage to your car. There is a downside to this. Rubber pants over padded underwear are tricky to get off. I use the shower hose off method. I take my kids to the shower and have them help me undress ( I try to to do the underwear myself) as carefully as possible and dump all the extra into the toilet. Then we use the shower to rinse off. I also try to make the water just a little chilly, not to be cruel but just as a reminder that while accidents are OK and part of the learning process, I don't want to make them to fun or enjoyable. My son was older (age 3) when I potty trained and I made him help with the clean up. Giving him the responsibility of cleanup made him not want to have accidents and eventually made him more proud when they didn't happen.
The other tool I needed was the potty itself. Any potty would work but I picked a potty based on my child's needs. My son liked the little potty chair because he could take it to whatever floor he was on. Freedom to roam the house was important to him. My older daughter however liked the regular toilet and wanted to be like the grownup. But I needed to remind myself before deciding on which potty that logistics are important. We needed a potty seat to use the big toilet and pulling clothes on and off herself was trickier. With this in mind for my last child I decided to use the big potty with a seat. She is smaller and is not as proficient in undressing but she also prefers the big potty so I am catering to her desire to feel big rather than my desire for the simplicity of a smaller portable potty.

Time to get your feet wet

The method I chose for daughter will consist of me taking her to the potty 45 minutes on the first couple of days. I plan to watch Elmo's potty time and drink lots of juice. I will set a timer (to remind my self) for when it's time to try. I also plan on having more organized play this day. Normally I allow my daughter to play alone in her room or the basement while I am doing chores. But on these special days I think keeping her close will help me manage accidents better thus keeping my cool. My biggest frustration will come with messes, but I know this and I am making these plans to keep my frustrations down in hopes of helping my daughter learn easier. These plans include lots of clean towels for quick clean up, multiple outfits for changing, organized play so I can monitor her more closely and have opportunity for me to remind her of the potty. I also hope to get my chores done ahead of time so I have a clear schedule to devote this time to her. After the first two days I will start to ease up on the mandatory bathroom breaks and let her determine when she needs to go. (The exception to this will be when we need to leave the house, at that point we will have a mandatory potty break). Day three always feels like the slide back day. When my first to kids started to get the hang of it I tended to slack off on and left them do their own thing or forgot to keep up on the conversation about it. Then messes increase and my patience decline. I hope to stay focused and strong and remind my self that diligence will pay off in the form of diaper freedom!

To good to be true

I know I am making my experience sound easy. But it wasn't with the first two. The common problem I had were getting them on the potty during those first two days. During the first few times my kids were eager to go potty for me, but after the fifth bathroom trip they were tired of being interrupted. I always tried to make the trips quick, I try not to dragged them there but I was sure to make clear that this was just something we had to do. Books in the bathroom worked wonders for my first two. However my last one child is going to be a different story. SHE LOVES the bathroom. But she doesn't like being told what to do when its not her idea. I also have seen that once she is on the potty she enjoys getting on and off, playing with the toliet paper and sitting for long peroiods. It is her idea of fun. My hope it to stay calm, make the whole experience seems like its important but also not that big a deal. It's an everyday activity that we need do and remind her that accidents happen and so does cleanup.

Stay Tuned

I start potting training in 3 days when my older two go back to school. I am keeping a log of the proccess to share. Each one of my children are so different and it will be intresting to see how this learning experience goes with my angelic terrible two year old!